Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I just don't understand but Jesus is here.

Around our house in May you would have heard nail guns, drills and saws just about every day. A dream of mine and Jim's was finally coming together. We have been in our home for nearly 5 years and we have always wanted to move our deck from one side of our house to the other. We would draw it sketch it talk about it dream about it and look forward to the day when we would move our 24 ft pool and our little tiny deck to a better suited place for us with a beautiful view. It finally happened as Memorial weekend came upon us we were busy putting on the "finishing touches" Completed by solar lighted post tops we were done. With everyone invited to our home for Memorial Day we were anxious about sharing this new wonderful space with our family and friends. Memorial Day was as great as we had expected with swimming, hotdogs, hamburgers, watermelon and that famous homemade icre-cream. But we could not have imagined the following day. Awaken as usual and running out the door to work only God knew the course our family was about to be on.
That morning I received a phone call that my uncle had fallen from his very high deck and was believed to have been life flighted to a major hospital in the Nashville area. (unbelievable)
That afternoon I received another phone call my 1st cousin's 6 yr old little boy had just drowned in the city pool. (unbelievable)

As these 2 catastrophic events started to unfold the remainder of that first week in June is a blur.
By the end of the week our hearts are devastated for our family. Our hearts are broken at the loss of this precious little boy who had just shared his 6th birthday with my children at his big birthday party at McDonald's. My uncle slowly got better (amazing miracle) and by the following Tuesday was released to come home.
And so the questions fill my mind why was this the completion of little Samuel's life here on earth? Why did God want him to come home to heaven now? Why did this have to happen? How can we ever understand? How will my cousin and her husband ever heal in the midst of such pain? How can our family move forward?
As I have prayed over the events that have been the start of what we had thought would be a wonderful summer on a wonderful new deck, I have changed from asking God why to asking God how? How can I use such a horrible situation to show my family the grace and mercy of my Lord and Savior Jesus? How can I be used to serve God through this time to show love and support to my family? How can I allow the peace and love of Christ to shine through me at this time?
The answers are not showing up quickly but I know my God is good and He loves us all and God uses all situations for His glory. What does that mean? I don't know but I can rest and you can rest in the sweet arms of Jesus anytime especially when we don't know and can't understand.

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